Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Where To, Now?

My dear friends and readers of Trash Radio Manila.

I sit here in the pantry in the company of paper plates, plastic utensils, and boxes of Zesto juice, trying to complete a post which I am finding too difficult to finish. It is a post that I need to write: to not write this piece is an acknowledgment that nothing of consequence had transpired, which is decisively far from the truth.

And yet, at this moment, caught up in emotional chaos and mental turmoil, I certainly risk getting too personal, and, God forbid, self-serving. Well. Eff it.

As you know by now, Je Bautista, my musical programmer here at Trash Radio Manila, succumbed to cardiac arrest last Saturday, April 4, at the Makati Medical Center. I was with Je the whole time, saw everything that transpired from diagnosis to demise, and I no longer desire to talk about circumstances. Je is more than just vital to the existence of TRM: he is virtually its soul, and I am but an instrument, a little more than a clerk.

Where to now, Trash Radio Manila?

How tempting it is to take the easy way out. I can easily hit the "Delete blog" button, burn all bridges behind, and return to work full-time on my vocation. So easy to just neglect this site, leave it unupdated on purpose. So many cop-out possibilities. But.

For now, I am putting a probational status on Trash Radio Manila. The blog remains alive, but I must say that maintaining this blog is going to be a very hard task for me now. Je has surely left a pair of big shoes to fill up....

...so expect indescribable but palpable changes in the days to come. In the first place, Trash Radio Manila is borne out of passion for music above everything else. You've kept us company for more than a year, and we were all too happy to give you playlists, promote gigs, relay scene reports, and provide a venue for communication. This time, there is just me, only me (and nobody else with me, so far) maintaining this blog. So I ask that you bear with me just a bit. Let us take this musical journey together and enjoy, while we can.

And please, tell me (when you feel like it of course), that you enjoy traveling with me, so I'd know if I should go on.

All the best. Marika.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You see, TRM is not just a blog. For most of us, TRM matters. Je would love to see TRM to go on...

Padayon, Marika.